Saturday, September 24, 2011

Nonsensical Rambling: Good Hair

If you have ever taken a close look at the an actress's work over a number of years, a keen eye might notice a common thread in several careers. It is common for an actress, in the beginning of their careers to have curly, wilder hair that gets progressively straighter and tamer over the years. Indeed, all you naysayers, we do have to account for changes in fashion and trends, which is why you'll not find me citing Julia Roberts' hair that made her a star versus her current do. However we can look at the hair of women over a relatively short span of time or even the follicle evolution of a single character. Observe:

Gina Torres in Firefly (2002) versus Suits (2011)

NCIS's Ziva David Season 3 versus Season 6(ish)

This small study proves the nationally known hypothesis that as women grow as people, their hair gets straighter. Fact.

Well! One relatively small step for man, one giant leap for Alexandra, I have now entered the realm of the straight-haired. I should probably say re-entered, since I had straight hair for a long time, but my locks have been curly for about a year now and it's time for that shit to end. So, here I sit, in my old salon getting my hair chemically altered.

I always find a couple things funny when I come here. For one thing the ludicrousness that we do this does not escape me. The relaxer on my scalp actually burns and anyone who has seen Good Hair knows that the stuff can melt aluminum cans. And yet, like so many other American women, I pay two weeks worth of groceries to have it done.

The other thing that's so funny is that everyone here is always shock by the volume of my hair. They are all haridressers, and yet there is still staring and often pointing. I cannot quite put it into words, so I will again cite Sir Joss Whedon:

But somehow, my beautician, who must have gotten her certification by way of Hogwarts Beauty School Annex, makes my hair look sleek and smooth.

It's funny. Since I haven't done this in a year, there is now a whole network of people that have never seen my hair out of a bun. My getting jobs and friends with my hair perpetually in a knot on my head proves that I don't need straight hair and I have always known that.

But there is a scene from True Blood (and please leave your True Blood complaints and controversies at the blogger door and enjoy the parable) in which Lafayette's schizophrenic mother escapes from the home and only agrees to return after she has applied a full face of makeup. She says something along the lines of "I can face anyone now that I've got my war paint on." That's how I feel about my hair. It makes me feel more confident and prepared to face anyone and everyone. And isn't that was growing up is all about?

Disclaimer: I appreciate that about 500 more articles could be written about the questionable social norms and psychological issues I have gleaned over in this post, but as I have a lot of other homework to do, I'll stick to the innocuous for now.

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